I don't LIKE you enough to hate you.

From Eat Pray Love
...I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have my everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time--everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.

was painful.

Today is just full of good quotes
"They have whispered that you are pretty small stuff after all? And now you feel hurt because the world is saying about you the very things you have been saying about yourself? Only yesterday you were telling God tht you were nothing, a mere worm of the dust, where is your consistency? Come on, humble yourselves & cease to care what men think." -- A.W. Tozer

"The time is never going to be right. The circumstances will never be perfect. You might as well start your new life today, because tomorrow won't be any different." - Frank Cook

La Pared - Shakira
From: http://lyricstranslate.com

La Pared

Eres como una predicción de las buenas
Eres como una dosis alta en las venas
Y el deseo gira en espiral
Porque mi amor por ti es total
Y es para siempre
Después de ti la pared
No me faltes nunca
Debajo el asfalto
Y mas abajo estaría yo
Después de ti la pared
No me faltes nunca
Debajo el asfalto
Y mas abajo estaría yo
Sin ti
Eres la enfermedad y el enfermero
Y ya me has convertido
En tu perro faldero
Sabes que sin ti
Ya yo no soy
Sabes que a donde vayas voy
Después de ti la pared
No me faltes nunca
Debajo el asfalto
Y mas abajo estaría yo
Después de ti la pared

La Pared

You are like a good weather forecast
You are like a straight shot to the veins
And the lust spins in a spiral
Because my love for you is total
And is forever.

After you, there's a wall.
Dont ever let me be without you
Beneath the asphault
And even more down I would be

Without you

You are the sickness and the cure
And you;ve already turned me
Into your lapdog
You know that without you
I no longer exist
You know that whereever you go, I go

From: http://lyricstranslate.com

in a 50 things to know before you die article...
21. How to Grieve

"After the first death, there is no other," wrote Dylan Thomas. That doesn't mean the ones that come after won't break your heart, but it's the first that punches your soul's passport. Welcome, fellow human, to a different country than the one you woke up to this morning. The air's different here; so is the scenery. Your knees don't work so well; in fact, you may want to fall to them.

For a precious little while, you are allowed to be stunned into silence, or to shriek, or to talk—recounting stories of who he was, what she meant to you, and how it all came to an end. Tell those stories. Some people may try to enforce "The Rules," to wit: Enough of This Drama Is Enough. Ignore them. Besides, if you treat yourself gently and take the time you need, someday soon you'll hear the faint but steady voice of your own good sense. Play music you love, sit in the sunshine if you can find some, and if anyone offers you a hand, hold it. Let them feed the cat, too, because they want to be useful. If your good sense does not kick in on its own, help it along: scramble some eggs. It will feel strange at first. But if you pretend that scrambling eggs is normal, eventually it will become normal. Soon you can squeeze some orange juice, too.

For some of us the stay in this new country seems endless. But time passes, seasons change, and, truly, would those we grieve for want us to mope? Come with me, back into the world. We'll return to this land someday, all too soon, but in the meantime the garden needs weeding, the bills need paying. Your other loved ones need you. And you, my sweet friend, you could use a shampoo. —Larkin Warren

Found here http://www.aarpmagazine.org/lifestyle/50_things_to_know.html

(no subject)
Real eyes realise real lies.

(no subject)
Test Results

Your personality type is ENFJ.
Extraverted (E) 71% Introverted (I) 29%
Intuitive (N) 59% Sensing (S) 41%
Feeling (F) 65% Thinking (T) 35%
Judging (J) 50% Perceiving (P) 50%

it has pockets.

Metro Link Train Collison
Metro Link Train Collison
I received an email at work today.....

"A special message from Benjamin K. Chu, MD, MPH, president, KFHP/H, Southern California, and Jeffrey A. Weisz, executive medical director and chairman of the board, SCPMG, concerning the September 12 Metrolink train crash in Chatsworth.

As many of us began heading home on Friday, September 12, we were jolted by the unfolding news of the terrible Metrolink train collision in Chatsworth.

Immediately, our Woodland Hills, Panorama City, and other area medical centers went on alert, and staff readied to receive and treat victims of the accident. Five individuals were treated in our facilities. As of today, it is reported that 25 people died as a result of the crash.

Sadly, our own Kaiser Permanente family has been affected by the accident. We learned that Beverly Mosely, ombudsman for Panorama City Medical Center, was killed in the accident. Beverly, who worked for Kaiser Permanente for more than 20 years in a variety of roles, is survived by her mother, two adult daughters - Nicki and Tina - and a two-month old grandson, Kingston. She enjoyed music, especially jazz, and had a beautiful singing voice. She also liked to travel and golf.

During her career with KP, Beverly served as a night nurse in Labor and Delivery, Quality director for Panorama City and Woodland Hills, was our first patient advocate, and worked on KP HealthConnectTM before serving as Panorama City's ombudsman.

When her colleagues speak about Beverly and her work, they mention her compassion and her knack for knowing when someone needed a hug. They say she had an ability to connect with people and a smile that would light up a room. She was known as a "guardian angel" to our patients and their families during some of the most challenging times in their lives. Our thoughts and prayers are with Beverly and her family, and with the many other families suffering throughout the Southland today because of this catastrophe.

This week will be a long one as some of us remember the friends and loved ones we have lost because of the tragedy in Chatsworth, and as we come to learn about the effects of Hurricane Ike in Texas and Louisiana.

Both of these situations, of course, remind us of why we do the work we do, and why we continually work to improve our results.

Thank you to the physicians and employees of Woodland Hills and Panorama City for your dedication Friday afternoon and evening. Thank you to each of you for your compassion and dedication to this cause of Health. And, Beverly Mosely, thank you for your passion and all that you gave to Kaiser Permanente's members, patients, staff, and physicians."

Of not sleeping. Going to bed - still not sleeping.
I'm tired - of all the pessimism. The liars.
Changing minds for no reason at all.
Waiting for answers, appointments, oppurtunities.
When I put my self in others hands, I have all the faith.
Patterns of paranoia, worry, poverty...
Tired of gas prices.
The internet.
Internet Dating.
Saying, but not doing...

I need silence. excitement.
I need to sleep a long time and then be abruptly woken up.
I need to know what to say to make you feel better - to fix things.
The sun. The shower. The freeway. My keboard. My Cell phone. The salon... food. Talk. Sleep.
Talk is cheap.
No more talking.
And Again.
And Again.


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